

JANUARY 2025
3/1/2025
Here’s a rat I met.
Now the rat is dead.
7/1/2025
And it is a blessing to arrive in the crease of the Teletubbies hill, to suck your way up to the top. Suck suck suck, suck to the top and then spiral down like a log down to the walley, past the hip crease pass the cute nice laughter of in the sun. I hope she doesn’t get burned. I hope she recognizes the power she has, forever imprinted in the minds of a whole generation of young emerging artists, as their first synaesthesis of fear. A collective first time for feeling mad joy and sadness that only a laughing baby imprinted in the sun could bring. And so we keep on vacuuming. Childhood traumas of arguments interrupted by the vacuum of wet dreams being penetrated by the sound of this disastrous monster and all the tiny rocks and stubborn hairs stuck in between the tunnel and the dirtbag. And you lie there, slightly wet in your pants, wishing you had a tunnel or a freezer to squeeze your head in to - just for the slightest moment - forget the dirtbag you have become. Thirteen, and never before have you been this disgusting.
8/1/2024
So, do I bike to the real forest or do I go to the forest close by?
16/1/2025
And I got jealous of my young self that I was so carelessly upset, needy, attention seeking, playing in the sea running back and forth back and forth not a
thought wasted on how much energy I burned or didn’t. And I’m not going to waste any thoughts on you I’m only going to waste energy. Wasting energy in Zumba in aerobics by running I will run up and down all of the hills I will eat all of the animals I can I will touch all of the mountains and old buildings that there are I will date anyone in this town just to feel wanted I will protest genocide I will distance myself from my mom I will forgive my ex I will loosen up I will not get kinder I will get more direct I will tell how I want things and I will demand the things to change. I will watch the clouds I will draw suns with sunbeams only as straight lines shooting through the skies I will fall asleep in the botanical garden I will tell her that I want to kiss her that I have wanted to kiss her since march but I’m scared because I’ve been such a shitty lesbian lately or who am I fooling I’ve been a shitty lesbian as long as I can remember and I will not ask you to choke me I will not ask you to humiliate me I will only be humiliated for being brave and surely the bravest thing to do would be to tell you that I love you .